large, single-color planes of random polygon shapes
excessive use of + symbols
at least two 45-degree arrows
mind-blowing "clutter" design using over 20 layers in photoshop
unxplnd abbreviations of wrds
"news" section inside a scrolling box no taller than 70px
1001010100100 as a design element to show your 'cyberness'
"experiments" section containing flash noodlin'
at least one link to:
design is kinky
load time > 2 minutes on 56k
resume with at least two failed dot-coms
:: or >> or // used as design elements
exciting new navigation system
no fonts with serifs *
honestly believe that you are somehow steering the future of graphic design
i don't think this checklist is very funny
you pretend to be affiliated with people who have no idea you exist
you have music loops of:
drum n' bass
trance (hi eric jordan)
idm / ebm
no body type larger than 7points
use of grids or scanlines as design elements
the link to your article explaining why you hate Jakob Nielsen doesn't work in netscape 4.7
splash image is 1024x768, and your "enter" link is a tiny arrow in the bottom left corner
120k flash navigation sequence leads to static pages that say "coming soon"
actual clients aren't worth listing
14 overlapping stock photos with transparency effects using an illegal copy of photoshop
...and somehow it's "yours"
aside from the 2.3megs of navigation, your site doesn't really have any content
* - unless, of course, you are using a gothic/old-english typeface while trying to imitate prate.
with any additions / changes. thanks to everyone who has submitted so far!